I am a good girl gone bad. I suppose my friend Emily would call me a “recovering good girl.” Actually, she did call me that in her new book, Grace for the Good Girl.
I consider myself a good girl gone bad because I’m a girl who knows all the right things to do and the right ways to act and exactly how to keep all my plates spinning all the time so I look like I’m doing everything right – and I simply don’t do it anymore.
Before Emily wrote her book, I’d walked out on the “try-hard life” into a nebulous idea that grace was more than “the power to do what is right.” I told Pete a few years ago that I was going to quit trying to do what is right, because there’s a huge difference between “yielding” and “doing.” It has a lot to do with the person doing the work.
God blew my idea of grace wide open, transforming my perspective on sanctification, retooling my view of myself, explaining grace in the context of Spirit-work and not in terms of “don’t you dare sin and take advantage of this grace.” He taught me how the sin that separates happens in the heart before it ever makes it into the actions, how wearing masks in order to be good was not the same as clothing myself in the righteousness of Jesus Christ.
And for a long time, I felt alone in that, quietly – or not-so-quietly – figuring things out, walking out on faith, hoping God would confirm what He was teaching me in the lives of others. But the culture I was in and the people who surrounded me unconsciously lived “Christ-plus” lives, accepting the Cross as the understood and getting to work proving their spirituality.
Emily’s book is the most refreshing read I’ve had in a very, very long time. And I don’t mean refreshing in “oh this is so new to me – amazing.” I mean refreshing in the way that one is refreshed with a place to rest after a long, difficult journey. I mean refreshing in the “sit down in my living room and let’s talk about God together” sort of way. I mean refreshing in that I felt like my soul was breathing new air as I read what she wrote about her life (not so different from mine) and her walk with God.
I was the responsible one; I KNEW that I put on masks to live my life every day. I have been – still am – the older brother Emily talks about in her book, looking in at the Father celebrating the prodigal son, not always remembering that what I have is relationship with Him, whether I am good or bad.
Emily writes as a friend to her readers – she always has at her blog – and I closed her book feeling that I was no longer alone on my journey into grace. Her very personal voice – her book is almost a journal in places – fosters an intimacy that invites her readers into relationship with her and with the God who gave her grace.
If you’re a good girl, or a good girl gone bad, or even a bad girl ashamed with herself for not being good, this book is for you. It is mostly about redemption and all about grace, and the to-do lists for fixing yourself are conspicuously absent from Emily’s writing. Emily writes with love for her God and love for her readers splayed over every page.
*Available September 2011 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.
If you’d like a free copy of Grace for the Good Girl, just leave a comment on this post, telling me a little of your story and why you’d like to have Emily’s book. Also, as a special bonus to the winner, I will include an 8×12 fine art print of “Grace,” the photo at the top of this post.
For an extra entry, tweet this post, and mention @kellysauer and @emilychats in your tweet. Then come back leave a comment about your tweet.
I will announce the winner next Tuesday.
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Oh, sign me up!!!
I spent much of my younger life being the good girl…doing and saying what other people wanted me to do and say to keep from rocking the boat…to keep from admitting that I was breaking open inside…to keep from letting anyone know that the strong mask covered a deep well of brokenness within. It took God’s love coming from a variety of branches on His tree to break thru the lies that told me that I had to keep the mask on…and to find the source that fed the well of tears in my own heart.
This book sounds amazing…and I love Miss Emily…and you, Miss Kelly :)
Hugs!!!
Bina
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Bina recently posted..letting go of lethargic
I can’t wait to be in my reading spot with Emily’s book.
A product of a broken and abusive home I grew up being the quintessential “good girl” people (adult) pleaser. As an adult I wore hundreds of masks to please those around me … and even 10 years into this wonderous relationship with Christ I still struggle with feelings of “being bad” and not doing the right things!
I know that God sees me as his perfect child, that in His eyes I am beautiful … however, I still struggle with “bad Andrea” sometimes, wondering if I’m doing the right things … if I am pleasing to God.
Emily’s book sounds fabulous! And Kelly, your post … always inspiring!
Blessings,
Andrea
Andrea recently posted..Summer’s End
:)
I tweeted!
Blessings again
A.
Andrea recently posted..Summer’s End
Kelly, I have wondered if I should read this book . . . seems I should. :) I know that having been part of the “good girl” culture for my whole life has influenced me. You know where I am– the culture I live in. It’s good. It’s where God wants me. But it certainly has shaped me, and not always for the best I think. I’d love to sit with you over a cup of coffee and just talk about it all. I have always appreciated your perspective. :)
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I’d love to win this because I already read the free downloadable first chapter and loved it. When I read this quote, I SO identified:
“My idea of who I should be is at war with who I am. I want to be perfect in every situation. I just do. I want to know what to do. I want to know how to do it right. And I want to do it. All. By. My. Big. Self. Not only do I want to do everything perfectly, I want to look perfect while I do it. I want to act perfect and sing perfect and have perfect teeth. I want to parent perfectly, to wife perfectly, and to have a clean house. All the time.”
Yep, that’s me. Mentally I try to not be like that, but it’s definitely an internal drive. I don’t think I really care so much about what others think of me, it’s for myself. I want to perform and succeed in my own eyes.
Emily’s writing was just as you describe it, Kelly, and I’m looking forward to reading the rest of it!
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Danielle recently posted..An Enchanted Party
it looks like a beautiful book :-)
sarah recently posted..trying to adapt
I was always a good girl. “Prig” sums it up nicely. And I looked so good on the outside that nobody realized I was desperate on the inside. About four years ago, I just got tired of trying, and now I’m sort of afraid that I’m a… well, not “bad” girl. A “lukewarm” girl, which as you know is even worse.
So, yeah, you can give me the book. :)
SaraJ recently posted..Mundania 31
I’d love a copy! My journey into grace is very much a “two steps forward, one step back” type of thing, but I am moving forward. Slowly. Surely. By grace.
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I’m being counselled by a couple who want me to live the “good girl” lifestyle. This book truly does sound like a breath of fresh air. I must read it someday, even if I don’t win the drawing. Thanks for the referral!
Karen recently posted..Words Empty
I am currently in the eye of a storm in my life I’ve surrendered to God, and am all-consumingly receiving and living in His mercy and grace! I would la la LOVE to read Emily’s book!
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I would love the book to read for myself and also to share with my sister. The picture would be awesome too.
I found your review very interesting and now I want to read the book.
I have been waiting for her book to come out! I am really eager to read it. Her blog is always such a comfort and inspiration to me. I’m so delighted to read your review, Kelly. :) I would love to win this!!
Grace and all the things that come with it (pressures, expectations, etc.) comes up fairly often in my womens group. I think this is something my group of type-a women can learn from! Thanks!
Well… I’m the good girl, or should I say the thinks-shes-got-it-all-together girl… til something inevitably falls out of my control and “boom!” God’s Grace enters the picture.
It would be a breath of fresh air to read and be reminded anew about that beautiful gift of grace.
I’d love to share this book with a group of self-confessed good girls like me!
I’ve been a good girl my whole life. Many times I say and do what is right, not because it is right, but because I’m concerned of what others will think. Sometimes I wear masks so that people won’t know what I’m really thinking and feeling. I wear masks so that they won’t judge me for what is truly inside.
I would love to have the opportunity to read this book!
I grew up a PK in a conservative church… still can’t shake the “must be perfect on the outside” tendencies! Always been a bit of a people pleaser and would love to shake that off!!
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I am definitely in the ‘good girl’ category – always trying to do the right thing, not fail people, please everyone, and frankly. it’s exhausting. I’d love to read Emily’s book and see how to move into “recovery” mode, because with our first child on the way in November, I need to give her the best example I can so she doesn’t struggle with this when she grows up!
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crystal recently posted..God’s Heart for You
Well, now I wish I lived closer. I wish we could talk about that “figuring out” time because I feel like that’s where I am.
I was a good girl. I crossed all my t’s and dotted my i’s. I had the answers…until I didn’t. And I still don’t. On the outside I still mostly look like a good girl, but on the inside, I’m not so sure anymore.
I’ve seen this book reviewed several places now. It must go on my To Read list. Thanks for the review!
whimzie recently posted..How I’m Not Like Martha
I fit the good girl role as the oldest child in my family. I would love to read this book. It sounds perfect for me!
[...] favorite photo from (of all things!) the spring got featured with my review of Emily’s new book, “Grace for the Good Girl.” Leave a comment on my post, and [...]
I’ve been intrigued by the book and plan to read it as soon as I get my hands on a copy. I’ve been responsible my whole life, Christ-pleasing, and am excited by what I’ve learned the last few years about grace for me.
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What a lovely review. It made me connect a little more with what the book will be about. The funny thing is, I began following your blog after a comment you left on Emily’s blog (post on incourage actually) so resonated with me and encouraged me in a way I really needed. I’ve been in a crisis of faith of sorts for many years now. Life is nothing like I imagined it would be at all. I am grateful for the life God has given me, but it is not what I would have chosen. God and his greatness remains unchanged for me, but how to live it out, that is the mystery. I was the good girl of sorts too. I gave up that role when I couldn’t do it anymore, but now I don’t even desire to be good. Will that be covered in the book? Like many women, I am sure, I won’t be able to run out and purchase the book. I’d put it on the list; the ever growing list…..If I were to be the lucky recipient, I would feel very fortunate indeed. Thanks for sharing your heart.
read chapter one that she included on her website & was completely blown away. I have been reading her blog since January & her 31 days of grace entries I read during a very difficult transitional emotional time in my life.
Hmmm…I have a long “good girl” story, and like most former “good girls”, I don’t like being vulnerable in public (or anywhere else, for that matter). *smile*
So the super short version of my story is I grew up a good girl, found grace in Christ, and still struggle with wanting people’s approval.
I’d like the book because I’d like to think…it’s been a while.
I would love the book and especially the picture of the soft flowers. It would match my home. If I have commented already apparently my memory is not helping me today. blessings to you
[...] favorite photo from (of all things!) the spring got featured with my review of Emily’s new book, “Grace for the Good Girl.” Leave a comment on my post, and [...]
Kelly, this is beautiful. I love your story. It’s a lot like my own. And I agree that this is just the most “refreshing” book. What a perfect description.
Your blog is the loveliest. I have to catch my breath every time I look at your amazing, light-filled photographs. Such art.
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[...] for one friend who commented on this post – I have grace to share. The winner of Emily Freeman’s “Grace for the Good [...]