On Monday last week, I realized I was getting a delay in my walking again, a symptom I’ve not had with my Lyme disease for six years or so. I thought it might improve if I rested, but on Tuesday afternoon, I found myself calling the airport to ask for wheelchair assistance. On Tuesday night, we bought a cane.
The best lesson in branding I ever received came through my wheelchair experiences, on the days I could do nothing but be. I had a choice: be the wheelchair, or be myself. Branding isn’t about something I put on or something I’m covering up – it is about being myself in any context. So in the strangest way, the wheelchair freed me.
I could put on “photographer” or “writer” or “mom” or “artist” or “wife” – but any of these could change. The only identity God handed me was that “the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus,” which basically means that wheelchair, cane, photographer, writer, mom, artist, or wife, I am only ever really His, alive where I am.
I realized a lot about myself last weekend, that I ask questions in statements to open discussion, that I learn by engaging a subject instead of assessing it intellectually, that I learn faith through myth, that I was created to be God’s, that the truth from which I shy away is the source of my greatest strength.
I did not find rest at Laity Lodge, but I did find courage to be the person I am with people I don’t know. I found reason to believe where I hadn’t before, lived real in a place where there were no games to play. And while I find it annoying that I have to enter an artist’s melancholic state to produce much of anything with depth, I wouldn’t trade my experience at Laity for an easy trip I’d readily forget.
These next three are heart poems, the ones with my ache and my learning.
Myth – and David Dark
“story” or “truth”: no choice
at all“story is truth”: already
real“truth found in story”: the image
of Godfind “story” in “truth”: learn how
to live© Kelly Sauer, Oct. 2, 2011. All Rights Reserved
Fountain
liquid gold pours up
behind one dove
rising, two, three, four,
ten doves take flight into
deepening night.© Kelly Sauer, Oct. 2, 2011. All Rights Reserved
Fiction
I wrote what I liked,
but forgot to show up
and open the doors
that would let my heart in.
“Not today,” they agreed,
“It’s a place to begin.”
So I walked and I heard
my voice for the page,
a real invitation
to a room that is home.
Now love the story:
“Come in, I am known.”© Kelly Sauer, Oct. 2, 2011. All Rights Reserved
FILED UNDER: Branding, fiction, fountain, identity, Laity Lodge, poetry, The Airplane Poems, The High Calling, wheelchair, workshops
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The image with the birds is stunning, Kelly, and your poems are full of your heart.
Maureen recently posted..Looking for My Father
Wow, my dear … those birds! I don’t usually think “I’d hang that on my wall.” But I just did.
Several of the thoughts you’ve been sharing are sending quiet roots through my heart. I’m still looking to see what blooms. Thanks.
Karen recently posted..Prayer in Whitespace (on Empty-Filled Day 5 of 31)
Yes, the birds. I’ve seen that fountain so many times now, but not like that. You brought a new vision, girl. A stunning new vision.
L.L. Barkat recently posted..Why Leave a Hole in Your Marketing?
There are times I have thought I could use a wheelchair– or one of those motorized things that the people at walmart use– on a day when I am feeling extra sick or miserable or hurty. Just so you know– if we ever get to hang out, feel free to bring the cane, or the chair, or the walker, or the scooter. I’ll bring mine too. We can let everything think we’re crazy. :)
Erin recently posted..But What Color is Thursday?
wow so sorry you had to use a wheelchair but it seemed to be a good thing, and rest is not always a priority getting in touch with oneself is good and healing too. take care, love the poetry.
In the strangest way, the wheelchair freed me. To be. Wow!
And the way you’ve seen the doves. Pure gold.
Sandra Heska King recently posted..Give Yourself Permission
And we love the YOU you are! This was beautiful, Kelly.
Charity Singleton recently posted..Radiation: Day 2
I think the last poem is my favorite so far Kelly – although it is hard to choose. I will echo what Charity has said – We fell in love with you. You are beautiful – inside and out.
I think one of the things that I want so much to do with writing is to be real. We don’t have anything at all to give if we cannot first just be who we are.
Linda recently posted..Hidden Artist
These are beautiful Kelly… reading your story brings my heart back to my dear friend Gitz who we lost last week. She fought to “be herself” in a body that fought against her daily due to disease, demanding her soul, her identity, her person… I love how you are fighting for your YOU through so many vehicles of creativity :)
Jenny recently posted..Autumn Photo Challenge | Green
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Sorry I didn’t get time to know you. Maybe next year?
Carolyn recently posted..A Stalker Poem For Amy