Now That I See

Emily says that our tears are “secret keepers of the most vulnerable kind, sent to deliver a most important message.” I think she is right. My tears say the most to me about the life I have and the life I long to have.

When you get hurt, you get used to being hurt. If it happens enough, you think you’re invincible, until one day you realize that you’re not and the things that hurt still hurt.

I don’t cry a lot, and I definitely don’t cry as much as I sometimes wish to cry, but there are some things that are guaranteed to put me in tears. Things like Kermit the Frog, or a trip to the ice skating rink with Pip to see Disney on Ice (you should have SEEN her wonder!), or stories that speak to deep desire. Mixing music with any of the above lately has been taking the lump in my throat and translating it into wetness.

And while I haven’t figured out why I try to stop the tears, I’m listening to the messages, slowly letting myself receive the things that speak life.

God gave me three words for living this year: “breathe, open, receive” – and I live through them just about every day. Some days I don’t get past the breathing, and I’m just starting to learn what it means to receive.

I was just scared,” I offer as I look to Him, letting my tears fall into bottomless grace.

But perfect Love casts out fear, and He waits to hold my dreams again, hands and heart splayed out with scars and tears of His own.

9 thoughts on “Now That I See

  1. Leeann

    Kent stayed up late with me to watch Tangled a few weeks ago. I was bawling during this whole song… but finally, someone was there to kiss me at the end of the bawling :)

  2. Linda

    And this brought the tears to my own eyes sweet girl. I’m sure I won’t get this completely, factually correct, but I heard someone say that when our tears our analyzed they are found to contain toxins. Apparently, in the process of crying, we are healing. We release those things that have wounded and hurt us through our tears.
    Praying that your dreams, and His dreams, come alive in you.

  3. nance

    Then there are always the gifts of new dreams. Every day He gives me something new that is enough to see me through. And sometimes we even get together and have actual fun. So many things that i have looked past, taken for granted. That is how we all are though. We can’t miss anything until it is gone. However, i don’t want to think too much about the losing things. I would rather concentrate on what i have so that i do not let fear have it’s way. In being thankful for what i do have and what i can do, there is always that place to start from. A place of light and grace.

  4. karenee

    And this is probably a key reason why God collects our tears … stores them up as if they are important or something. And why DO we try to stop doing something that God keeps?

  5. Sharon O

    Tears have not been easy for me as a child if tears came the choice of words often were given, “if you are going to cry I will give you something to cry about” as if my little world didn’t have anything to cry about? God has changed my heart and in the last two years he moved me into a grief journey that was deep and daily calling me to the place of tears. It would not be unusual for me to sit in church and cry as the music ministered to my broken heart. God gives us tears for a reason, even ‘Jesus wept’. It is ok to show our vulnerable side, it is tender and human. Cry if you need to and then rejoice later. (weeping will endure for the night but joy comes in the morning) praying for you.