I baked an apple pie last night. We lit a candle over dinner, and again over Yahtzee, while we talked about contracts and clients and life stuff that has been on our minds with me traveling so much this fall and Pete thinking about where he wants to go from here. I keep thinking how strange it is that I’m the homebody and he’s the adventurer, yet I’m the one who was called this year to “go.”
It’s funny how the simplest things come to mean the most when you go, how lady grey tea can bring you back to Ireland, how a pink clover nosegay in a little girl’s hands can remind you there was still life in something that broke you, how the scent of autumn takes a body back 25 years to quieter, safer times.
Yesterday, I was updating my client pages, and I saw just how much work I’ve done this year. It is nice to have a little bit of white space for choosing again, instead of being driven by the next thing. I’m figuring out that method doesn’t really work for me. My “to-do” list is more of an “I-Did” list. Instead of crossing responsibilities off, I’m adding accomplishments.
I need some time to rest. I’m looking forward to having most of November and December to do just that before kicking off 2013 with a New Year’s Eve wedding shoot. This summer has grown me so much, and I’m glad for it. Somehow “going” doesn’t scare me as much as it used to. I’ve become more comfortable in it, more willing to uproot a little and embrace new things. Maybe it was finding a little bit of home in Ireland and a bit of Ireland here – I don’t know.
Either way, Virginia’s calling me back this weekend for a few small sessions, a baby shower, and some hang time with my sister. I suspect Pete will finish the apple pie when I’m gone, but he’ll deserve it if he accomplishes what he’s planning this weekend for our guest room. I’ll bring some tea along for Facetime goodnights, see if I can’t find my lullabies again for my babies who aren’t really babies anymore.
I am homesick for them already. I’ll have to look for an apple pie while I’m gone.
Kelly, that last line is so poignant. I am leaving my own babies-who-aren’t-babies anymore for five days next month, the first time I’ve ever been away from my youngest two for that long. I think I’ll bring along tea for evening facetime, too.