Sometimes the sun comes out and I realize I’m a little better at what I do than I think I am on the cloudy days. I’m encouraged this morning, coming into my workspace and finding photos I really like and ideas that are ready to go in this new season. I have a lot of work to do this week, and to tell you the truth, I am still too tired to do it. My health collapsed unexpectedly last month, and my focus over the last few weeks has been on doing what it takes to get back on my feet and move forward again.
Because running a business from my home and keeping up with three kids isn’t exactly a slow job, I did a lot of neglecting to take care of myself last year. I didn’t set boundaries I should have set. I didn’t make time to nurture my artist (I’m totally going to need to start over in earnest on The Artist’s Way now…). I pushed myself too far in places I didn’t need to push. I actually forgot to feed myself and didn’t even know I had forgotten until I realized I had lost my appetite and had dropped without thinking into clinical anorexia.
So it isn’t exactly surprising that my word for 2016 emerged as “Nourish.”
I have been buying living things for my house without knowing why. I want to see the fresh green, the florals, the obvious life. But I bring them home feeling as though they will only have a short lifespan with me. I don’t think I have a green thumb, so I’ve detached myself.
But I think I’m going to try to keep them alive, even though it may not work.
When you realize you are starving on almost every level of your existence, you begin to think a bit differently about life. I have a friend who reminded me that I need to put on my oxygen mask before I put on the oxygen masks for those in my care. If I can’t breathe, I can’t help anyone else breathe.
“Nourish” means giving a thing what it needs to be alive – a plant, a body, a dream, a belief, a family.
In 2016, I plan to nourish my body, my heart, my artist, and my relationships in 2016. I’m going use my resources to bring the life back into my world and take things a step further than obligatory showers and meals and contractual deliveries and shoots.
It’s funny, being a grownup and having people who know my word telling me that “yes, this word is perfect for you right now.” It makes me feel a bit dumb, that maybe I’ve been missing the obvious for quite some time – but I guess you only know what you know sometimes, until the thing gets up in your face and makes you pay attention.
I’m glad for a word I wouldn’t have thought of, and glad for a thought to guide my goals and my boundaries and my investments this year. I have a bit (<— okay, that’s an understatement – HA!) to catch you up on, but I’ll be getting more breakfasts here and making some time to do that.